My Dad, on starting a family band:

• Dad: So we're going to start a family band.
• Me: Oh for christs sake.
• Dad: We'll play 'I will possess your heart' by Death Cab for Cutie.
• Me: No. That's my song. You are not allowed to listen to it.
• Dad: I'll have to learn base...
• Me: No. Not happening.
• Dad: Your sister will play guitar...
• Me: Don't even think about that song anymore, it's mine.
• Dad: And you'll learn the keyboard part.
• Me: STOP, STOP STOP AUGHHHHHHH
• Me: I knew putting Death Cab on your laptop would be a bad idea in the end.
• Dad: *sings* Elegantly bound....like a book...
• Me: FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU THOSE AREN'T EVEN THE RIGHT LYRICS